Not sure if anyone else can relate
to this. It's been 4 years since I've
thought about or written anything in regards to this topic; but last night; I
was reminded of it again and as the Lord often does; He showed me more with it
and as usual; I know that He's speaking to me about it now for a reason.
1 Samuel 15:35= And Samuel went no more to see Saul until the day of his death. Nevertheless Samuel mourned for Saul, and the LORD regretted that He had made Saul king over Israel. In this verse, Samuel didn't see Saul anymore until his death. Not sure if the Lord is speaking directly to Samuel but the Lord is speaking! Then in the next chapter= 1 Samuel 16:1= How long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel. Fill your horn with oil, and go; I am sending you to Jesse the Bethlehemite. For I have provided myself a king among his sons.
Samuel was a prophet of the nation. God spoke to him often. He was the one who came and anointed Saul as king over Israel and he saw how the movement was of God. It really was; but now he's mourning Saul's backsliding from the kingdom. Saul had gone from a "kingdom man" [one who won battles, popular with the people, Samuel had anointed him as king and did great things for Israel] to a man who was self-centered, complacent, disobedient, exalted himself and even ended up fighting against the plans and purposes of God.
It
seems that Samuel was struggling to make the transition into the next move of
God. He was focusing on what God had been blessing and doing.
Sometimes though; what God wants and what man ends up doing ends up being two different
things. It was as if he had to leave behind what he knew and what was
once so dear to his heart. Something
that he knew God had breathed on and now it was over. He was being
challenged, stretched and his heart was so involved in the “old thing” as he
played a large part in that. He was mourning the loss of a whole nation that
had lived under a righteous and godly blessing of leadership and now the very
one that he had anointed had backslidden. Plus he was going to take a risk in
going to Jesse's house to anoint his son. If Saul found out that he had
anointed one of Jesse’s sons to be king, then Samuel would be done. If I understand correctly; it was 12 more
years before David was crowned king. Samuel had been allowed and chosen to be a
key leader in what God was doing but also in what was coming. IT WAS COSTLY!! Samuel would no longer
be able to hang out with Saul. Saul had
been the people's choice and in I Sam. 16: 1.........now is the time where God
was going to give His choice.
Samuel was mourning what went wrong; yet all along it truly was of God. I've had experiences like that where I've invested so much of my life/time into a person/people and I've known that it was of God and the right thing. But then; something begins to change; where it seems so off, so wrong, so hard and then God reveals Himself and I realize that He had it all along and it was of Him. In 1 Samuel 16:1; there's something so important.........Samuel mourns and then the Lord tells him to "Fill his horn with oil." Now, Samuel is going to get that anointing oil and go to the next generation to release his anointing and the Lord will tell him what to do. Samuel had to take his focus off of the death of the past [both the good and the bad] and choose to be where God was......finding out what He's doing and move with Him.
I wish I could say that I have this down and that I never struggle in this, but I don't. I am maturing, learning and walking it out! There have been times in my life where I have "mourned for Saul" and mourned for what I have lost. Heart hurts/sad/missing it. Sometimes, when I'm fixing to go through a big transition or even when great breakthrough comes; I have found myself facing anxiety or restlessness. Frustration often seems to hit right before the shift. Change and transitions are sometimes hard for me but I'm overcoming as I walk it out with Jesus and I'm so thankful that He gives me such great grace and mercy. It's so easy to stay in what you are familiar with; what you know; what you love because your heart was so in it. That would be my flesh and human reasoning wanting to stay. Yet; at the same time; I am aware that God is moving and growing me. I just may not always see it yet or how He wants me to. These times happen not only personally, but spiritually too. We can become very comfortable in what we know of God and the move we are in with Him now. I often see offense happen in this area [spiritually] amongst believers and the body of Christ. If it's not familiar to them or they've not experienced it then it's wrong! Not true! We must be obedient. We must count the cost. Test all things. Ask Holy Spirit for Truth. Keep eyes focused on Jesus and not man. Open up the heart.
I want to be where God is and I want to be a part of what He's doing NOW. There are also those times of disappointment or disillusionment and I've held back a part of my heart due to things not turning out how I had hoped or expected. Sometimes, it's those heart wounds or stings that came from ourselves or others. I must keep my heart open and ready; not for what I know.....no just for what God has done but for what He is doing and because His heart is always open to me. I could easily keep thinking about how it had been or what should have happened or even remember the great times and the glory of His presence in those times! It's ok to miss it, to tell God that your sad and broken that things can't be how there were anymore. But then it's time to move forward into the next season and the next move. It seems to always be greater than what was in the past! God isn't a God who just stays in one place. I'm learning how to press into and pray into these times. I'm thankful for the old.....whether good or bad and so excited for the new. It's my choice whether or not to embrace it, move forward with Him and say 'yes' to it all. There's always more and I choose to be a part of what He'd doing now and going to do!!
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